Whether you are a bisexual female, bisexual male, or straight female (unicorn) looking to date another person who is already part of an existing couple or an established relationship, it is very important to follow a couple ground rules. Being involved romantically with another person, regardless of whether they are already in a relationship, does not make the pain of losing said person any less. This is because you do not have less at stake in terms of emotional vulnerability, like most people who are “third wheels” believe. In this article, we will take a look at some tips on how to date a bisexual couple as the third person and how to go about finding a bisexual couple through a bi couples dating site.
1. If You Are A Bisexual Going into an Existing Relationship: know that you will need to temper the expectation that you “should” be involved sexually and romantically with both people who are in the relationship. This kind of expectation, because one is choosing to bring you in, doesn’t necessarily mean that both will be interested in you or you, in them. Set very clear expectations and parameters around who you are interested in within the couple and find out whether the couple is interested in you or if only one is. Defining this ensures that there’s a lot less grief later down the road when expectations of intimacy come up.
2. Be Wary of The Couple Wanting You to Date Both: couples that say things like, “we only want you to date both of us at the same time” generally expect you to have the same type of relationship with both of them. In most cases, this is the couple trying to temper the insecurities or jealousy that either one or both feel about the other. Unfortunately, relationships do not develop at the same rate and so it is not reasonable to ask you to date both or to have the same feelings about both. This is often why you see bisexuals hooking up with bisexual couples through a “casual” relationship and not a long-lasting one with defined futures. Please keep in mind that jealousy is not a rational emotion and even if the couple are both having sex with you, doesn’t mean tension won’t run high.
3. Remember That Each Person Is Still an Individual: when engaging in bi couples dating, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of, “the relationship must develop into something” with both people. Rather, remember that even though you are dating a couple, each person within that relationship is also an individual and has their own emotions and desires.
4. Understand The Rules and That They Can Change: be very clear with what you and your lovers are willing to engage in with regards to needs and expectations. Understand that there are rules and that feelings can change and therefore rules may need to be renegotiated.
5. Do Not Take One Half of a Couple’s Word: if you receive a response akin to “they are fine with it” and you don’t actually hear anything from the other person, you are not going to be able to verify whether your prospective lover’s other half is okay with you. If this is going to work, you need to have good communication with both members of the couple.
6. Do Not Start a Relationship With One Member of the Couple: unless you are prepared to be involved with both of them. Remember that they are an existing couple and so their relationship will affect the relationship you have with either of them. This is not to say, don’t get romantically involved, just be very wary that if one wants no contact with you than it is likely that this will lead to issues down the line.
7. Do Not Become the Go Between and Do Not Expect Someone Else to Communicate on Your Behalf: doing either o these will lead to a whole lot of trouble due to miscommunication.
How To Find a Bi Couple in LA?
If you are looking for a bisexual couple in Los Angeles, consider using an online bi couples dating site. It’s incredibly simple to use, all you have to do is navigate to the website or the mobile application, fill in your information and use either a social media account or a valid e-mail address to sign up. Then, just log in, fill out your profile, and start looking in the Los Angeles area! Don’t fret about finding a bisexual couple though, as there are thousands out there on bisexual dating websites, you just have to know what to look for. If you are a straight female, just place a unicorn emoji in your profile and you’ll have couples reaching out to you and if you’re a bisexual female or male, just be honest and up front in your profile. The clearer you are at communicating what you are looking for, the higher likelihood you will find it, or they will find you!